It's a leeeeeeg!

I've never won a major award. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever really won anything. I guess I'm what you would call "unlucky" when it comes to those things - if you believe in that sort of thing of course. In fact, I remember a time back in high school that really drives this point home.

It was the night of prom. The big dance was over and everyone went to the local bowling ally for an after-prom party. Over the course of the evening they were drawing names and handing out door prizes. Everyone was winning something - everyone, that is, but me. They were giving away prizes every 10 minutes, and after about 2 hours of not winning anything, I finally complained. Finally my name was called, but only after I had them "rig" the outcome and deliberately choose my name from the bucket.

I felt kind of like Homer Simpson on "Employee of the Week Award" day. Everyone at the nuclear plant had won it except Homer. Company policy mandated that everyone win it at least once, so naturally they gave the "Employee of the Week Award" to the only remaining employee at the nuclear plant who had never won...the inanimate carbon rod - an obvious affront to Homer.

That's kind of how my luck goes. At least, that's the case about 99% of the time.

But there is that 1% of my life where things went my way. I call that 1% "Rebecca." Yes, permit me a moment of sappiness, but my wife Rebecca is my lone "major award." Regardless of all the "bad luck" I've had in life, with her I've hit a home run, and I didn't even have to rig the results.

So, Becca, thank you for being my very own sexy-provocative-leg-lamp. I love you.