What's the matter with you, egg head!

Ah, the egg, nature's perfect shape. It's spherical design makes it the perfect refuge of safety for it's incubating inhabitant. Ever try to break an egg by squeezing it in your hand? Good luck, pal; it's not going to happen. The physics of its design render it virtually indestructible under intense compression.

I wish there was some way to take the properties of an egg and apply them to a car. Just think, a car with the safety and security of nature's impregnable spheroid.

Recent car makers have tried to replicate the form and function of the egg (take the Volkswagen Beetle for example), but they have not yet created a practical consumer-oriented product that truly lives up to its inspiration.

Perhaps you're wondering why I am so concerned with safety on the road. My question for you is, "Have you ever lived in Jackson, Mississippi?" Take a drive down any one of our roads and you will see for yourself what I'm talking about. The head-jarring cracks in the pavement. The tooth-rattling potholes. The ill-timed traffic lights. The diabolically painted street lines. And, most frightening, the DRIVERS! I don't know if it's laziness or selfishness or what, but the drivers down here are just plain terrifying. And it sure doesn't help that every driver on the road is talking on a cell phone. Oh, Jesus, when will you come and rapture cell phones off the face of the earth?

I guess I'm just going to have to wait until the perfect egg car rolls off the assembly line. Until then, please pray for me. I sure would like to live long enough to earn my Masters degree.