You Should Be Ashamed, Finland

Yesterday I accidentally came across the worst music video EVER MADE. Yes, it is true. Worst music video... EVER. Trust me, there have been a lot of bad ones. But this one's the worst.

The song is called "I Wanna Love You Tender," and is sung by a Finnish duo that calls itself Armi & Danny. You can watch the video here. The first thing you might notice is the horrific dance routine performed by about a dozen dancers. The choreography looks like something that was scrawled on a bar napkin by some drunken dance teacher. Like a car wreck, it's horrible to watch yet impossible to look away. Then Danny comes in and you will notice that the top button of his shirt is located somewhere near the naval region. I need to find me one of those, although I doubt there are any Finnish thrift stores in Jackson. And lastly, you'll notice the loathsome and obnoxious lyrics (which I will post below). I'll let them speak for themselves.

All in all, this music video is an abomination to man and an affront to God. Finland, you ought to be ashamed and embarrassed for this. In fact, I have half a mind to burn your flag!

¡No viva el Finland!

Lyrics:

I love you, I wanna love you tender.
You could be my only sweet surrender.
I would never bring you any kind of sorrow.

You love me, you wanna love me tender.
How can I be sure you're not pretender?
You want me today,
But what about tomorrow?

Oh, you're absolutely fine,
Your lips are taste of wine.
I'd like to think you're mine.
And if I could touch your hand,
This rock would turn to sand,
So this is where we stand.

You love me, you wanna love me tender.
How can I be sure you're not pretender?
You want me today,
But what about tomorrow?

I love you, I wanna love you tender.
I just want to be your loving fender.
I would like to take you;
I know I can't deceive you.

I love you, I do can be so tender.
I can be your only sweet surrender,
And if you give your heart,
I'll never ever leave you.

Oh, you're absolutely fine,
Your lips are taste of wine.
I'd like to think you're mine.
And if I could touch your hand,
This rock would turn to sand,
So this is where we stand.

If we all say 'Wanna love you tender,"
No-one has to be a great pretender.
And this world would be
A better place to live in.

By the way, I hated this video so much that I downloaded it and converted the file for use on my iPod video. It's just that bad.