Sean Michael Hasselhoff
I will never make fun of David Hasselhoff again.As I walk down the sandy shores of the Outer Banks this week, I am faced with tremendous guilt for making fun of the former Bay Watch star and Euro-pop icon. I used to laugh at how he would suck in his stomach all the time in the vain attempt at looking fit compared to the anorexic underwear models that co-starred next to him. I used to wonder if his head was going to explode under the intense pressure of sucking in his gut with all his strength. Fortunately for him, he only had to suck it in long enough to shoot each shot -- 10, 15, maybe 20 seconds as a time. But I...I have to hold in in for the entire afternoon. Yesterday my eyes almost bulged out of their sockets at one point. Today I actually passed out for five or ten minutes, but that was ok because everyone showered me with attention and food due to their pity. (Like I need more food...)
Oh yes, I will never make fun of you again, David...at least, not until I get back from the beach.
posted by Sean Scribner at 3:58 PM
4 Backtalk:
Are you getting any sun? Don't sunbath too close to the water, or they may try to roll you back in.
Free Willy!!!
M. Jackson
Yes I am sunbathing, but not by the beach. You see, every time I go down there the tide comes in. Go figure. I guess I shouldn't have had that third plate of all-you-can-eat King Crab legs last night for dinner....
Sean,
This is David Hasslehoff. What makes you think I am holding in my stomach? I am a very sexy man and do not appreciate you suggesting that I hold in my stomach. I think you owe me an appolgy. Oh, how is the beach? I miss it very much.
DH
Hey David, this Hoover, from Hoover vacuums...we want our sucking action back.
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