For Dramatic Effect...

Enjoy.

The Wonders Never Cease

The further I delve into Sean's secretive past, the weirder it gets. Through research, I've discovered that before Sean went to CBC, he spent some time in Australia, presumably on the mission field. I guess that explains this picture. As many know, The Wiggle's are the biggest thing to come from Australia since "Mad Max." They travel the world bringing love and joy to millions of children. The picture raises, however, an interesting question: Why isn't Sean still in the band?
At first I thought he was the "Pete Best" of the Wiggles, but it turns out that he left to pursue a singing career with another group. As of yet, the identity of this other "mystery" group remains..well...a mystery. More to follow...

Is Jack a Creepy Scientist?

This picture would answer that question with a big affirmative.

I know, I'm running out of ideas....

Jack and His Buddy

So apparently Jack and Rosie are pretty tight buds. For those of who who know Jack best, this comes to you as no surprise. Growing up, Jack was always the boy who played with girls instead of with the other boys. He was also always afraid to take a shower in the boys' locker room after gym class. He earned the nickname "Jack-a-roo" because he wore his undies into the shower one time. As it turns out, Rosie O'Donnell is the closest thing to a male friend that poor Jack has ever had (present company excluded). Well, I take that back. He does hang out with Scott Engebretson from time to time. Once again, for those of you who know both these guys, no big shocker there either......

Is no one safe?

In my search for truth, my investigations have unearthed some more interesting photos. This particular photo is a mystery. I'm pretty sure that's Sean on the front of the scooter, but I am unable to make out who is on the back. Oddly, the only writing found on the photo is the phrase "Tyrone and me looking for Ms. Samsonite" scribbled on the back. I had heard that Sean had done some traveling (mostly Colorado and bordering states) so I guess it is safe to assume that this fellow is someone he met during that time...

I'm disappointed

Sean,
I won't stoop to your level and "edit" pictures to make fun of you. Instead, I will take another approach and take you down a peg with hard-hitting journalism. I've been conducting an exhaustive investigation into your life and I've discovered a skeleton in you closet. You've always portrayed yourself as a staunch republican. Then how do you explain this? While sifting through some documents at the Democratic Headquarters, I found this photograph. It clearly shows you at a Clinton fund raising campaign dinner...rubbing elbows with big Hill herself. Unbelievable! Your duplicity will be your undoing! You think you know someone...

Jack is out of Control

Caution: Clicking the picture above makes Jack even bigger than he already is.

Those of you up north who have been wondering whether or not Jack has been taking care of himself recently need to look no further than the picture you see here. Since Christmas, poor Jack has not been exercising or eating well, and his stress levels have shot through the roof. What stress you ask? Mostly like the kind that results from taking a consistent beating in Quake, having a slower computer than mine, and his ever-increasing bitterness towards all things good and wholesome in the world.

So if you have a spare moment, please pray for poor Jack. He is out of control and needs your support. Drop him a line to tell him that you support all 300+ pounds of him.

Ok, let's get something straight...

Ok, so maybe Jack's base score is better, but that's not the whole picture.

Note the comparison of his PC rating and mine. The base score is determined by your single lowest subscore, it is not an average of all five.

My rating is on top in the picture to the left. Each red circle indicates where my rating is better than Jack's for each individual subscore. The green circles are where Jack's are better. Note the score: Sean - 3, Jack - 2. The only subscores where I fall short have to do with graphics, and that's because nVidia's graphics drivers for Vista are JUNK.

So, let the truth be told: The comparison isn't so lopsided after all. Besides, in the end, it wouldn't matter if Jack's PC rating was 310, he's still get spanked by me in Quake3.....

Oh, Vista...you!

I'm kind of digging Micro$oft Vista. Thankfully, I run it on my work machine, so I didn't have to pay for it myself. I must say that you've GOT to be nuts to try and run it on 512MB of memory. No wonder MS recommends 1Gig of memory. The OS uses as much as it can. Thankfully it does a good job of freeing up memory as needed.

Still, it got old running Vista business on my "Vista Capable" Lenovo 3000 N100 with only 512. I went onto Newegg and ordered another 512 (too cheap to spring for the Gig) and waited with bated breath for my upgrade to arrive. Unfortunately, like my Thinkpad before my Lenovo, the memory was "unsupported" (even thought BIOS correctly recognized the new amount of memory) and wouldn't boot into the OS. Impatient as always, I did a little (better) research, and broke down and bought memory locally from BestBuy (which was close in price to Crucial.com). Ah, sweet speed at last! No more counting to five before Thunderbird opens...

As a side note, my Window Experience Index jumped from 2.3 to 3.1 with the upgrade. I can't image how ANYONE could survive with less than 3.o it. Not that its a competition or anything. It's strange...I thought MY video card would've been worse than, say, an Nvidia card in an HP.
Hmmm....

Retaliation...

Ok, you know there's no way that Jack could post that picture of me without me replying somehow. So here it is, Jack in all his ambiguously gay glory. Enjoy (if you don't puke).

Congratulations Sean!

Hey, everyone! (All two of you.)

Sorry that the pickin's have been kind of slim here on Sarkazmos. We do truly endeavor to provide quality information here on this blog, but sometimes life catches up with us and we don't update as much as we'd like (and you deserve!) I know that sickness and work have been eating all my time. I was beginning to wonder what Sean's deal was until I found this on Maytag's site. It turns out old Seano has been putting in a little overtime at his new job. Congratulations, Sean! I know you'll work even harder at your new job.

Unbelievable

It's ok to be religiously intolerant on one hand (as long its making fun of the appropriate religion), yet its not ok to use a phrase that's been around since FOREVER! (Especially a phrase that no THINKING person should take offense at.)

People make my brain hurt. Well at least they didn't hurt my feelings....

Parting thought:

Dude.... that's so gay!