Dell is no Apple

The author has a good point, but I think you could also say that about HP, Toshiba...well, actually, about everyone but Lenovo : )

but particularly HP...

FALL BEFORE THE MIGHT OF STEVE JOBS!

Sorry, Sean, I'll stop posting for today

....Just...can't...stop...pointless....drivel....

From the AP

Associated Press-

"In an attempt to make the WNBA more palatable, league officials have decided to focus on their supposed strengths. League Spokesperson Barbara Hiddeger states 'most sports fans are men. We need to appeal to their baser instincts. Therefore we've to make our players more attractive.'" See attached photo.

It's a leeeeeeg!

I've never won a major award. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever really won anything. I guess I'm what you would call "unlucky" when it comes to those things - if you believe in that sort of thing of course. In fact, I remember a time back in high school that really drives this point home.

It was the night of prom. The big dance was over and everyone went to the local bowling ally for an after-prom party. Over the course of the evening they were drawing names and handing out door prizes. Everyone was winning something - everyone, that is, but me. They were giving away prizes every 10 minutes, and after about 2 hours of not winning anything, I finally complained. Finally my name was called, but only after I had them "rig" the outcome and deliberately choose my name from the bucket.

I felt kind of like Homer Simpson on "Employee of the Week Award" day. Everyone at the nuclear plant had won it except Homer. Company policy mandated that everyone win it at least once, so naturally they gave the "Employee of the Week Award" to the only remaining employee at the nuclear plant who had never won...the inanimate carbon rod - an obvious affront to Homer.

That's kind of how my luck goes. At least, that's the case about 99% of the time.

But there is that 1% of my life where things went my way. I call that 1% "Rebecca." Yes, permit me a moment of sappiness, but my wife Rebecca is my lone "major award." Regardless of all the "bad luck" I've had in life, with her I've hit a home run, and I didn't even have to rig the results.

So, Becca, thank you for being my very own sexy-provocative-leg-lamp. I love you.

Hello

I'm your insurance agent! Please pay your premium expecting to get NOTHING in return. If by some chance I decide to give you what is entitled by our agreement, expect to wait an eternity (while I earn interest on your money) to receive any compensation. You know what the greatest thing is? YOU HAVE NO RECOURSE!!!! If you don't pay in a timely manner (unlike myself), you lose everything in a calamity!!!! Ha Ha Ha!!! Thank you. Have a wonderful day!!!!

My Future Self

In a prior quip, I was referred to as "bald". While I am not completely bald, I got to thinking. What am I going to look like as I get older? Using the school's mainframe, I wrote a algorithm to extrapolate what I would look like in ten years. I am a little disheartened by the results, but I'm not the first person in my family to lose their boyishly good looks. What disturbs me more than my future physical appearance is what another algorith deduced. Apparently, in my near future, I will become a comedian that no one finds funny anymore, who frequents L.A. Lakers games. Dr. Kevorkian do you make house calls? I can live with the whole "comedian" thing, but the Lakers?!?!? At least by this time in my life, the NBA should be putting out a better product. I can foresee the future NBA moto "The NBA - now with less murder!"

God Bless You, Mr. T

There are few greater role models in life than Mr. T. Aside from sporting the mo-hawk for over 20 years, redefining fashion trends, and wearing the largest necklaces known to man, there are certain qualities to Mr. T that often go unnoticed but truly make him a great American hero.

Take his quality of pity, for example. Pity is an emotion, usually resulting from an encounter with an unfortunate, injured, or pathetic person or creature. A person experiencing pity will often take mercy on the person/creature, giving them aid or money. Many people pity the homeless, orphans, the terminally ill, and victims of rape and torture.

But Mr. T pities an even less fortunate kind of person -- namely, the fool.

In his pitying, Mr. T typifies true human compassion with his feelings of sympathy and sorrow for the misfortunes of others.

So here's to you, Mr. T, and your humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it.

Congratulations

I want to congratulate my brother on FINALLY getting internet access at home (high speed, no less!). Thankfully, he no longer has to rely on the "kindness" of his neighbors open networks. (Curse you encryption!) No, he doesn't need to drive in to work to check in on the blog. He can now manage to have a million-plus page loads per hour from the comfort of his home. JL, are you looking to get into a little Quake III action? Sean says he'll own you at Quake like he owns you at ALL sports....

B-B-B-ong

The following is taken from the AP:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2462506

Oh, Canada!
Toronto Argonauts president and CEO Keith Pelley talks about bringing Ricky Williams to the CFL
Williams showed good hands Monday, catching all five swing passes thrown his way.

"It's a part of my game that I haven't been able to do a lot in the NFL," Williams said. "But I'm excited. I think it will make me a better all-around player, definitely."

Oh, that, and laying of the hash....

Holidays

Thank you, vets, for your sacrifice. You gave of yourselves to allow us to have freedom and a better way of life. It's sad, though, that many see Memorial Day as a day just to get soused...

When I think of holidays, I think of family. Speaking of which, I actually have some family coming to visit soon. My brother's family is coming to visit in a couple of weeks. I'm really proud of them! Its seems like they've adjusted to their new lives in Ohio. Here's a picture of the good looking family. Note: They don't have the cool car anymore...they traded it in on a minivan...

Greetings, Earthlings...

Welcome to our little piece of blogdom. Sarkazmos is going to be a blog devoted to our extremely subjective, biased, opinionated, politically incorrect, and obnoxious rants. Together we will explore the lighter side of life and try to do our very best at pointing out the most obvious and mundane everyday things.

Oh yeah, and we're going to pretty much talk about anything we want to talk about, which means it could be about geek tech stuff one day and NASCAR the next. You are invited to be just as annoying and opinionated as we. Let this site bring out the side of you that you suppress in public places, and feel free to say the things you think and are usually afraid to say. Just don't be a jerk on here or we won't play with you.

Salute Leonard on your way out.